Wrestling Roundup 10/12/12

Welcome marks, one and all, to the only blog written by a graduate of the Bobby Heenan School of Broadcast Journalism: WRESTLING ROUNDUP!

For references as to what I’m talking about, you can catch up on ALL the latest wrestling news, reviews, and recaps at AngryMarks.com. But, why stop there? You can check for the latest wrestling news twice on weekdays and once on the weekends. It’s the Wal-Mart of wrestling news! Instead of going to many different places, you can stop in one place for EVERYTHING!

Now, I’ve got to tell you all. It’s been a real DOOZY this past week. Maybe I’m getting a little mental and crazy from this month long “Shocktober” fest I’m on, as let’s face it, watching two or three horror flicks for twelve days straight now puts a person’s adrenaline at a fever pitch. But, JUST maybe, this has been a WILD week for professional wrestling as a whole. I’d bank my money on the latter rather than the former as I’ve NEVER seen anything like this past week. From Earth shaking Raws to a psychopathic bitch’s fourth and FIFTH arrests to a brotherly betrayal and THEN some, it’s all here this week.

There’s a LOT of ground to cover, so let’s get started!

 

-First off, we HAVE to talk about this because of the ramifications this will present. As everyone probably knows by now, Brian Gewirtz was fired as the head writer of Raw. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Now, what does this mean? Well, in addition to being the head writer of Raw, he was Stephanie McMahon’s right hand man, which meant he pretty much was second in command of the writing team PERIOD.

Now, let me tell you what happened in ADDITION to that. Vince McMahon has been getting a lot of shit from both the wrestlers AND the networks. Keep in mind that King Hunter isn’t officially in charge yet and that Vince pretty much still runs day to day operations and has the final say.

 

The networks are up in arms because the extra hour they gave Vince is not doing as well as expected. They are paying him more money for the three-hour Raw and they want results that they are just not getting. They have a lot LESS patience with him due to the whole WWE Network debacle.

 

For those that weren’t aware, NBC Universal which is the parent company of USA, offered Vince part of Universal HD to air their material that the WWE Network was to have aired. Vince being Vince, instead of taking them up on the offer knowing that they had no other options available at that point, told NBC Universal that either he gets the WHOLE network or there’s no deal. Well, considering that Universal HD is a big network for NBC Universal as they show the back catalog of Universal’s movies and shows, they refused to do that for him and Vince pretty much told NBC Universal to go do something to themselves that begins with F, ends in K, and consists of four letters. Ever since then, their tolerance with him and his attitude has taken a nose dive.

 

Who can blame them? NBC has over the past twenty-seven years, plunked down and LOST millions of dollars to fulfill and take a chance on Vince’s endeavors. Their sports division helped Vince create Saturday Night’s Main Event, which after high ratings for many years and after helping Vince get the then WWF into millions of homes, plummeted in the early 90’s, forcing it’s cancellation. Then, Vince took it to Fox which got even SHITTIER ratings and flopped after only two episodes. Then of course, came the XFL which NBC lost money rumored to be in the eight figures. Lastly, the failures of the recent NBC-WWE specials, including a reboot of Saturday Night’s Main Event, and you’ll understand WHY NBC Universal’s lost their patience with him.

 

Then, you got the wrestlers complaining. Actually, I SHOULD say “Superstars” and to call them wrestlers would be like calling the Italian mob a “Mafia”. It’s an unspeakable crime. Now, usually there is sour grapes in wrestling. Bitchy wrestlers go with the business like peanut butter and jelly. It happens all the time and keeps people like that pedophile ass burglar Rob Feinstein in business. But, when your TOP STARS start complaining, then you know you’ve REALLY done wrong. Yep, apparently some of the top stars are NOT happy. One of them was John Cena who had a NICE blow out with King Hunter over the direction of his character and the company as a whole. But, right before the firing of Gewirtz, ANOTHER top star told Vince that the company was going to hell in a handbasket and that if he doesn’t do something to fix it, he’ll be personally responsible for the company’s downfall.

So, you know now WHY Vince was FURIOUS and wanting blood.

Apparently, as SOON as he walked in to the arena, he told Gewirtz to pack his shit and go. Then, he said that he was an example and that MORE firings will come if the company doesn’t change. Then, AFTER the firing, came one of the BEST RAWS IN YEARS! The crowd was hot, the matches were good and it felt like wrestling again. Hell, it was so good that the camera was SHAKING. That’s how hot the crowd was. Their cheers and stomps made the building shake which in turn made the camera shake.

So, it looked like a step in the right direction, no?

But, it didn’t take long to fuck everything up. The person who was chosen to replace Gewirtz was a former executive at Warner Brothers. Yeah. THAT’S the person for the job. Does Vince know that Dusty Rhodes, Kevin Sullivan, Jim Cornette and Gabe Sapolsky aren’t doing SHIT right now? Fuck, they even have PAUL FUCKING HEYMAN under contract. Yet, above ALL of these VERY qualified individuals, men that have kept companies afloat with their booking skills, they choose someone who’s a former executive of a MOVIE STUDIO. Something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE WRESTLING BUSINESS. Remember the LAST time this happened? Does Jim Herd: Pizza King ring a bell? Proof positive that in Titan, the more things change, the more they will stay the same.

You’ve got a bunch of writers on your staff instead of bookers. These are people who’s ONLY experience with writing were shows like The Hills, iCarly, and Victorious. Not only that, they are good at kissing Vince’s ass and telling him what he wants to hear instead of what he SHOULD hear.

All in all, while this may be big and it’s going to be entertaining to see what happens next as nothing will really change too much, if Vince REALLY wants to change, he’s going to have to remove the BIGGEST obstacle that’s keeping them down: HIMSELF.

But, the ONLY way that is ever going to happen is if he drops dead. So, it’s going to be a LONG while…..

 

 

 

 

-Now, without going into too much detail about the things I’ve experienced in my life, it never seems to amaze me how some people can set the bar lower even if the bar is already as low as it can go, but this week proved me wrong. It’s getting to the point that I hate….no no….I DREAD writing about this bitch but it’s my duty to do so, so let’s get this done and over with.

As if THREE arrests within days of each other wasn’t enough, it appears that earlier this week, everyone’s favorite psycho bitch Sunny was arrested for the FOURTH time this week on yet ANOTHER domestic dispute. You know the story. She was released and arrested again for a FIFTH TIME just HOURS later after she was caught breaking in to the house where she stayed with her boyfriend. Yep, this would be protection order violation number five AND burglary.

Her bullshit story is that she was trying to get her things because she thought that he wouldn’t be home. Umm…yeah…didn’t she realize that she could’ve made arrangements with the local police department to have a sheriff accompany her to the house to get her things, or was she too fucking drunk to realize that? Well, it appears to be the latter as in both the aforementioned arrests, she was dead drunk. I mean SO drunk that if you were to stand by her, her breath would bleach your hair. So drunk that if she were to piss, it’d be 100 proof pure alcohol.

But, thankfully for us, the judge presiding over her fifth arrest held her without bond and told her that if she wants to be free, she’ll have to post $100,000 CASH and she CANNOT use a bail bondsman to get her out, ending ANY chance that she might have had at pulling a double hat trick. As of this writing, I believe that she’s still in jail and we can all sleep easier tonight knowing that.

But, it’s interesting what her boyfriend said. She beat his ass from here to Kingdom Come and he still insists that “when she’s sober, she’s the best person in the world but when she’s drunk, she’s an uncontrollable demon”. Yeah, sure. It looks looks like Sunny LEGITIMATELY whipped him. He’s more delusional than those serial killers I’ve been seeing in the movies I’ve been watching the last few days. Obviously, this boy needs to see the video of that bus driver beating down that bitch who tried to assault him. He could learn a few things from that.

 

 

 

-Another hot item this week is something that is a little closer to home. As was discussed last week, footage from Hulk Hogan’s sex tape has leaked. This week, we learned that the woman in the tape was Heather Clem, which is the ex-wife of everyone’s favorite lard ass Bubba The Love Sponge. But the BIGGEST shocker was that not only was it filmed in Bubba’s bedroom, Bubba had setup Hogan with the tape and was revealed at the end of the tape to have planned it so that “if we ever wanted to retire, we could use this tape”. As most of you are aware, Bubba and Hulk are friends with the latter considering the former to be a brother to him.

It’s sad to see this as I’ve been betrayed by people who I thought were my brothers as well and as such, know the feeling all too well. It doubly sucks seeing the man who I looked up to as a child go through the same ordeal that I’ve been through.

But, once a piece of trash ALWAYS a piece of trash and that’s EXACTLY what Bubba is: TRASH. One look at his track record and you’ll see the kind of person he is. But, while I can understand making a bad decision and the shit he went through, Hulk should’ve KNOWN he was being set up. Now, raise your hand if this ever happened to you: your best friend offering up his wife for you to fuck in his own bedroom and with you out of the room.

What’s this? NONE of you have raised your hands? I THOUGHT so.

That’s because it NEVER happens. A REAL friend would NEVER ask you to do something that you don’t want to do, nor will they ask you to compromise your morals. Bubba with this, was guilty on BOTH of these counts.

I refuse to believe that someone would be THAT fucked up in the head that they’d actually think otherwise. I’ve been through a lot of shit, done some things I’m not proud of, but NOTHING as obvious as this. While Hulk’s being outward about it, I feel that maybe there are some things that we HAVEN’T been told. We all know that Bubba released the tape. It STUPID to believe that an employee got a tape like that without it being given to them. I’d NEVER let one of my employees into my office or ANY ROOM in the house without supervision. Also, there was a copy made, which means that it was GOING to be used. Even IF we give the fat bastard the benefit of the doubt and he didn’t leak it, he still made a copy and had evil intentions to USE that tape. He’d be just as responsible as the person who leaked the tape, but considering what he said at the end of it, it’s painfully obvious that the person who made the copy and leaked it are one and the same.

I know Hulk feels like he owes Bubba. After all, it was Bubba who got him fixed up with his current wife. But, a crime is a crime. He MUST pay for it somehow. But since he’s lawyered up, he cannot do anything to Bubba if you catch my drift. For example, we cannot see Bubba lying in a ditch somewhere with his ugly face so fucked up, that he’d actually look decent.

I guess the moral of this story is think before you act and watch who you consider your close friends.
On a closing note, as I’m writing this, I cannot help but to think of what the Honky Tonk Man said on his radio show:

“You had Bubba calling Hogan’s wife everything but a good Christian woman during their divorce on his radio show. Why don’t he have Hogan come on there and bash Bubba’s wife?”

Well, now we KNOW why. Hogan didn’t bash Bubba’s wife because he was too busy fucking her to do so.

 

 

-In other news, CM Punk was the talk of the wrestling business this week and NOT for his new home video. In the heat of the moment, Punk punched a fan who he thought was swinging on him. Come to find out, he wasn’t swinging on Punk, but was an innocent bystander. The fan who DID punch Punk ran off like a bitch and openly admitted doing it on Twitter. After that, the fan declined to press criminal charges, but is thinking about a lawsuit. That WOULD be a good idea, except for one thing: the people he’s considering to sue are both the WWE AND Punk. WHY? Punk apologized and said it was an accident and the fan who DID hit him came forward and admitted it. So, why isn’t the fan who was hit suing the fan who actually DID hit Punk. He revealed his real name and it’s on his Twitter where he lives. Add that with a full blown confession and you have all the makings of an iron clad, open and shut case.

But, just like all people in his predicament, he’s a greedy bastard who just wants to sue the company so he can get rich off of an accident. Now, I SAW the picture that the reporter put up and he doesn’t have a SCRATCH ON HIM! No bruises, no NOTHING! I hope the judge laughs it out of court but knowing the government’s disdain for Titan, the fan will most likely get rich. That’s sadly the world in which we live in.

The one who’s potentially going to be hurt by this the most is Punk. Knowing Vince, he’ll probably panic and take the belt OFF of Punk. Call me crazy, but he’s done it before and I was THERE to see it. Still have the ticket stub from the PPV too…..

 

 

QUICK CUTS TIME!

-John Cena will be named an honorary captain of the New York Jets. Isn’t it funny that they are going to make him the honorary team captain of a team in dire turmoil….just like his workplace?
-Everyone’s favorite slut Kelly Kelly has dyed her hair brunette. Now, she looks even MORE like a whore than ever before! The only difference that instead of looking like she could be in a porno, she looks like she’s stripping at Lookers.

 

-File this under the “No Shit, Sherlock” part of my filing cabinet: The talk is that John Cena will NOT be ready in time for the Hell in a Cell PPV and that Ryback will be taking Cena’s place, starting with a dry run at house shows this weekend. If it wasn’t painfully obvious, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! BTW, I think these horror movies ARE having an effect on my psyche. I’m actually starting to LIKE the Ryback storyline. GOD HELP ME!!!!

 

-I’m always a fan of how Edge ALWAYS gets back at the moron marks who try and bullshit him. He told a fan who suggested he go to TNA and they’d treat him better: “Don’t believe the hype, kid”. What would TNA really do with a broken wrestler? Make him commissioner? Then again, he WOULD do a better job than Hogan….

 

-Remember my speech about Vince earlier? His plan is to bring in old “Attitude Era” stars for six months leading up to Wrestlemania. That’s JUST what the company needs. MORE OLD GUYS! What the fuck?! THAT’S Vince’s grand plan? Turn the WWE into TNA? Bury the younger guys? What you NEED to do is to fire people like Orton, Otunga, and all of the no talent hacks that you try shoving down our throats every week with the exception of Punk, Ziggler, and Ryder and bring up the ENTIRE NXT ROSTER! Isn’t it sad that I get better entertainment and enjoyment out of a DEVELOPMENTAL SHOW than anything on the main roster? PITIFUL!

 

-Speaking of fan trouble, did anyone catch the mother of that fan who’s sign Alberto Del Rio tore up to get some heat bitching and moaning about it? What’s worse, Dixie Carter’s pathetic attempt to cash in on it by offering the family four VIP passes to Bound For Glory and the chance to meet the TNA wrestlers? Yeah, because I’m sure the kid’s lifelong dream is to see an old man who’s got a sex tape out along with a bunch of washed up ex-WWE stars. As for the kid, you see what this generation’s turned into? PUSSIES! Shit, I remember getting called out by a heel as a kid and thinking that it was the BEST THING EVER! Now, these kids cry and whine. For fuck’s sake….

 

-On his bio page on WWE.com, they have labeled Tensai as an “overhyped disappointment”. Yeah…uh….Matt…remember what I said about you being a fucking FOOL to leave Japan for a Titan job? Looks like I was right on that, wasn’t I? I bet right now you’re ITCHING to go back to Japan…..TOO LATE!

 
That will do it for this week’s Wrestling Roundup. Be sure to come back next week for more. Now, I’m off to play some Doom 3 BFG Edition, Dishonored, Pokemon White Version 2, and Sonic Adventure 2 Battle HD. Busy weekend ahead! Enjoy the weekend everyone!